BAPTISM WITH BEER! part I

We have a state of delay after our demise, a realm of preparation and reparation in God's grace, for sHe doesn't wanna lose another soul due to our stupidity in that exacting latitude below the earth, which we shall be free from someday - Purgatory. No, God Almighty did not say, "Tiller, my son, you may slaughter babies by partial birth abortion and burn them in the furnace while they're still writhing." Not everyone goes Up, America. Remember that and thou shalt never sin mortally. Doesn't the Divine Law of Karma/Catch-22 say, 'whot comes around, goes around'?
---
Lemme explain SADDAM INSANE How can you justify murdering thousands of your own people by gassing them? By slowly rolling them over with steam rollers, starting witheir feet so Saddam could hear them scream? By torturing them till death? Isn't rape torture in those rape rooms? And what of that semen from him and the guards in those girls? He orders the guards to kill those young girls withe sperm still inside, right? Thus, you're killing the girl and the hundreds of babies (not to mention Uday and Qsay). UNbelievable. I seeeriously doubt he went to Heaven. Totally cruel. You cannot without Purgation if they took the Up escalator "O yeah?" sayeth God. "Watch this." sHe huffed, sHe puffed, and sHe blew his worthless house down with our F-16s. SSSmokin', baby
---
Another example of why we must Purgatory for salvation, HUGH HEFNER Do you, America, think God's gonna simply overlook all the airbrushed lovelies he's screwed-in-the-head over the years and admit that recumbent mortal into Heaven after he croaks? N O T. That's one more of the reasons why we must 'pay-up' for our free will choices. You're askance, Hef; whot you need is some 3D glasses. Err, I mean, the third mystery of the Glorious Rosary, the Descent of the Holy Spirit who gives discernment to all who ask. Isn't abortion basically a matter of personal freedom? Didn't your hot Bunnies ask you for some extra cash to kill which you both impregnated and provided, Hef? QUESTION: Why, then, do we have the Abyss of Hellfire if all our sins are forgiven in this Finite Span of existence? You think just because Jesus forgave U.S. at Holy-Roller-Baptism we're going straight to Heaven when we breathe our last? N O T. ANSWER: I read and researched, through a lot of study, deep below the earth, there's realms of differing levels, nearer to Hell for those whose sins demand a greater punishment by God because, after Baptism, we did them with our own free will... and, of course, less for good behaviour. God's ex-tremely fair: you get whot you paid for. Funny to me how some religions never have a state of preparation for contamination before we enter the Utopian Paradise "Wall, sheeet, Paw. I done rekkkon thay'll find out," sez Billy-Jo-Bob from Arkansaw.
-
Yet another example of why we MUST have Purgatory for salvation is FRED PHELPS and the Phelpcites You're just causing more hatred and contempt when the world doesn't need any more hatred and contempt at this present hour FACT: You're never gonna change them with violence, though, a smile does wonders. Ever think of that? Pro'bly not. Pro'bly don't think too much - old Freddy and his pseudo, paralytic church are a contemplative, collective depravity desperately distorting the truth.
---
As I was riding to Assumption one day before yesterday for 5 o'clock Mass, I saw a homeless dude, thin, scrawny, just outta jail, begging on the sidewalk. I asked him if he'd been Baptized for entrance into the Kingdom. Ummm, no. Nadda prob, but you must have some water for the RITE of Baptism. And, yes, I can certainly baptize because 1. I'm a staunch Catholic, 2. the apostles did, following orders from God who gives freely, and 3. more importantly, if there's a dying person and you're the only one there, you must. You do want them in the Kingdom, don't you? If God's no respecter of person's, pal, neither am I. Looking around, I spotted an almost empty, beer bottle, baptizing him with Canadian beer.
---
"Yo! Don'chu gimme no jivetok, Jesus," I'll sayeth after I croak. "Water is water, baby. Don't matter if it has hops. I hopped right to his salvation, dude."